In Mr. Boeckman's 1st and 6th period classes, we needed a quick and fun lesson, so we had the students write new endings to some old chestnuts. Here are some of our favorites.

1. A bird in the hand
   1. is good with ketchup (David W).
   2. will give you the bird flu (Michael G)
   3. means poop in the palm (Rachel T & Joyce S)
   4. can't fly (Mitchell S)
2. A penny saved
   1. is still only a penny (Michael G).
   2. is one more for the college fund (Audrey S)
3. Early to bed, early to rise
   1. makes a person tired (Brighid O).
   2. makes you miss out at night (Lynsey R)
   3. means no bags under your eyes (Audrey S & Emily A).
   4. is a really bad Saturday (Sam R)
4. Rome wasn’t built
   1. by Chuck Norris (Dae).
5. Another day,
   1. another funeral (David W).
6. All work and no play
   1. helps capitalism (David W).
7. You can lead a horse to water, but
   1. you can't drown him without help (David W).
   2. you can also bring water to the horse (Brighid O).
   3. it might want food (Lori K).
8. It is better to have loved and lost than
   1. lost and loved it (Lynsey R).
   2. won and died (Tim P).
9. The pen is mightier than
   1. the pencil (Lynsey R).
10. If at first you don’t succeed,
    1. cheat until caught, then lie (Tim P)
    2. don't try again (Dae)
    3. you probably can't succeed (Michael G)
11. You can’t teach an old dog
    1. to be a cat (Sam R).
12. He who laughs last
    1. thinks slowest (David W)
    2. is the slowest to understand the joke (Lori K)
    3. doesn't get the joke (Lynsey R)
    4. is weird (Dae).
    5. is thoroughly confused (Mitchell S)
13. Better safe than
14. A stitch in time
    1. stops the bleeding (Kara & VIncci)
    2. is impossible because you can't stitch time (MJ)
15. A rolling stone
    1. is more dangerous than a rolling pebble (Brighid O).
    2. hurts less than one thrown at you (Tim P).
16. Don’t let the fox guard
    1. your 401K (Michael G).
17. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but
    1. guns will kill me (Lori K).
    2. I have medical insurance (David W).
    3. love breaks my heart (Rachel T & Joyce S).
18. Don’t bite the hand
    1. that cleans the sewers (Michael G).
    2. ; nibble it slowly (Carrie R & Greer)
    3. because it may come back and slap you (TJ)
    4. you write with (Rachel T & Joyce S)
19. It is always darkest before
    1. the anesthesia kicks in (Michael G).
20. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you; cry, and
    1. the world will laugh at you (Tim P & Lynsey R).
    2. you're wasting valuable glucose (Michael G)
    3. stay in a corner (Dae).